The sudden and unexpected demise of friend taught me that life is unpredictable and that we should live it NOW. But it was easy said that done. My mind registered only that “life is unpredictable” and forgot that “we should live it NOW” and on top of it the unpredictability imbibed fear in my mind and heart. The fear of the unpredictable. The fear of losing loved ones. The fear of what's next. And I became over possessive for my loved ones.
I am very lucky person to have an “Enlightened One” in my life. Who was silently observing my behavior and one day decided to fill my mind with his words which he knows wont be acted on immediately but will surely be thought upon and eventually acted upon (All thanks to my super ego with him! ;)).
I would like to share the conversation with the “Enlightened One” for its worth sparing a couple of minutes on.
“Enlightened One”: I see that something is wrong with you.
Me: Me? Really? What did I do?
“Enlightened One”: Ohk! You know it well but you want to hear it from meJ. Your wish my command! I see you are not the fearless girl I knew. I see your mind imagines and see and fear all it should not. I see you want control of life and have become possessive in that pursuit. I see negativity has creeped in your thought and is making you do all these things. You are such an intelligent woman! Why are you troubling yourself?
Me: (Completely caught off-guard) What made you think so Mr.”I know everything”?
“Enlightened One”: Oh come on! Keep your ego aside gal and think. I know you know. It’s the fear of unpredictable which is causing you to track where I am almost every hour especially when I am travelling. You have become much more anxious and possessive.
Me: Others would have called it “Love”…
Me: And you tell me one thing. Wont you be afraid if I go out with my girlfriends and do not return home really late.
“Enlightened One”: I would be concerned but not afraid!
Me: Care to explain the difference?
“Enlightened One”: I would be concerned about you and will try to track you down. But I wont think all the negative shit like ”what would have happened to you?” etc. as it not under my control!
Me: Really? What are you some saint! Is it not normal to think about “What would have happened” when you are concerned about someone?
“Enlightened One”: No dear its not. Its a choice. Whats the use of me thinking what would have happened to you when I cant control it. It would just imbibe fear. Wont it?
Me: Does that mean you do not fear losing me… L
“Enlightened One”: Don’t get me wrong. I love you lots and if I lose you, I will go crazy. But do I spend whatever life I have with you fearing what if I lose you? No. I would better spend that time “living” life with you.
Me: ….
“Enlightened One”: Look, please do not doubt how much I love you. All I am trying to tell you that be it me or anyone else you are close to, leave the fear of losing them aside as you cannot control it. What you can control is how you spend quality life with them. Be concerned but not worried. You get it?
Me: (Knowing each of his word is bloody truth but still hesitant) hmmmm
“Enlightened One”: In fact I believe when I die people should not cry on my funeral. They should be jealous of what life I lived! We will LIVE the life we have and die as content person whenever the death chooses us. So stop worrying, start living!
Such is the "Enlightened One" in my life. He knows me and hits my thought spot on! And no price for guessing who he is :) And the more important thing is he practice what he preaches.
Life is really beautiful when you have such wonderful people around you. So the message again is "Just Live it to fullest" and yes I am working in that direction too :)
