It all starts when a girl child is born. Traditionally we have been bringing up our daughters and sons differently. Please don’t get me wrong here, kindly hear me out. When I say differently I mean not by the things we provide them or how we love them. I mean by the way we treat them, the kind of dreams we show them, the kind of games we play with them…. It differs…don’t you agree? We bring up our son to be fearless, independent, achiever. But also aim to make our daughter independent but we protect her, shield her from the badness of world and imbibe values in her which teach her to “adjust” and be “accommodating” as its required for her future life when she becomes someone’s DIL, wife, mother… According to me it all starts there.
Until very recently and even now the kind of career girls are advised to choose were the ones which would possibly be accepted by her family-to-be and/or would provide her flexibility to manage house and work. And from then, every step, every decision we take is around the “fact” that we would be getting married and would have family very soon. And the funny thing is that “very soon” starts much much sooner than it should have started…. That starts getting reflecting everywhere, the company we choose, the role we choose, the responsibility we choose and sadly so.
It is for this attitude of majority of women is Sheryl Sandberg, COO Facebook, the author of book “Lean In” and my ideal says “Don't leave before you leave”. She got my attention when in one of her talks she said this and it resonated with me because then she actually caught me red-handed. I can list numerous instances when I took a step back, not because anyone asked me to but because it was my own fear of what will happen when I start a family. Those things are so deeply imbibed in our minds by our upbringing, by our society, that it gets difficult to overcome that notion and go about taking new responsibilities, asking for new roles, and being aggressive about the career.
It’s a long road before you get married and long road even after you get married and before you have kids. And it’s a good 9 months even after you conceive. What we should strive for is to find a good partner who values your career equally. There is no point in limiting your possibilities right now for what “might” happen in future. And dude, who knows the future…no one! So today is the day and its full of possibilities, its full of energy and vigor. Everything can be catered to when the time comes. And trust me if you have a fulfilling job where you are needed, respected and rewarded, you will have more motivations to make things happen and there is higher probability that you will continue to have a fulfilling career even after you have family and kid.
Many women chose to enjoy motherhood and dedicate themselves completely to their kid for few years and I have utmost respect for the decision and such women. But even this choice should not stop you from giving your best to your career and have a fulfilling workplace experience. If you leave on a high note having made an impact, I am sure your company would want you back after the long break you decided to take.
So a very strong and relevant message to all beautiful, talented ladies out there please “Don’t leave before you leave” and soon we will be rocking and ruling the workplace J. Amen!
