Façade

“We all have a social mask, right? We put it on, we go out, put our best foot forward, our best image. But behind that social mask is a personal truth, what we really, really believe about who we are and what we're capable of.”  -Phil McGraw

Façade - a deceptive outward appearance. This is how we are living… that’s what has become of most of us including me. Very conveniently and comfortably we have put up a façade…a social mask.

 It’s a story of the 21^st century, we are surrounded by all these “friends” on social networking site but still alone… We talk to everyone but don’t communicate… Everybody knows everything about everyone through their updates but still there is so little they know… We have all this innumerous means of entertainment but still feel alone within… There is so much noise outside still a haunting silence inside… Something is missing ain’t it?

Has it ever happened to you that you suddenly confront a Facebook friend, who in Facebook world is all gaga over your updates and now when he/she is actually in front of you, you have nothing to talk to you about. You cannot even communicate comfortably for 5 minutes…. A very common situation, isn’t it? And it leaves you all puzzled…why such? The answer is simple, we update but we don’t connect. We show only the “best” and what you think might interest your friends or for that matter get maximum likes.

The question still remains, why we do this, why this façade. There are two parts to this question:

1.       What is the need to put the social mask even if its all so fake?

2.       Assuming I need these people around whom I call friends, then why can’t I show what I truly am.

The answer to 1^st one is easier.Man has always been a social animal. Sharing is his basic need. Society, community, caste, religion all these words exist and reflects what we are to the core. Our grand celebrations and long mourning rituals are the proof of the same. The need and the length of socializing differs from person to person but the fact remains and that is human being need sharing, affection, love, sympathy, attention and social networking give us all!

Second question is more tricky to answer. Because if socializing is basic need of human being, why don’t you see most of the people sharing their sad side, their dark side, their true emotions. Everybody(offcourse including me) loves to put a perfect picture of their so-called ideal life, showcasing only their beautiful moments and beautiful pictures… I will try and answer that on my behalf as it wont be fair to use “we” here and I will leave it upto you if my thoughts resonate with yours.

I am a very social person. But even such a social person like me don’t like to put up my “not happy” emotions out there for I fear being judged, to be looked upon as a psycho case or with sympathy or disgust. I don’t want that! On social networking I am surrounded by all these “friends” who hardly know me and I fear they will start judging me and wrongly so in no time.  We all have faces/emotions…faces we wanna only keep to our near and dear ones. Some faces so dark that we ourselves refrain from facing them. How can we bear the thought of sharing it with others. I see myself facing same emotions, fear, dilemma while blogging too. Even on quora most controversial and truthful answer are given by “anonymous” people and the on twitter given by all funky names with no one ready to reveal their identity.

No wonder Oscar said “Give man a mask and he will tell you the truth”

For me façade is ok as long as I don’t wear that mask forever. As long as I am truthful to myself, as long as I have a closed group who can accept me with what I am. As long as the evil face inside me doesn’t grow so dark that I cannot look at myself because there Is no hurt like not being able to look at yourself in mirror!