The Indebted Generation

Just few days back I saw an impressive documentary “The World Before Her”, in that a strong independent charismatic girl justifies the fact that once when she lied to her parents, her father hit her leg with a burning iron rod. Her reply was “It’s his right, after all he decided to give birth to me and let me live even though I am a girl”. And the casualness with which she justified it, you know she believe in it to the core and is indebted to her father forever and will justify his wrongdoing forever! THIS part of the documentary struck me, it struck me hard, because I realized that its not only her, I and many more such women of our generation are indebted for so many things that are our right. I call this generation of women, "the indebted generation”.

I myself from the core of my heart am indebted that my father decided to send me to a bigger city for education. I am indebted to the fact that he always treats me like his boy. I am indebted that my husband let me pursue my career. I am indebted that he respects my identity and treats me like an equal. I am indebted that he has never stopped me from wearing the clothes I want to wear. Hush! So many things to be indebted for…. But I genuinely feel that and there is no getting away from that feeling.

But the question is should I feel indebted? If I had the talent and earned marks enough that I deserved to get the education at better place, is it not my right? If my parents gave birth to both me and my brother with all their wish and heart and love, is it not my right to be given same treatment as my brother? Doing job, being respected as a person, having freedom to do what I want and wear what I want, these all are my rights, my basic rights. Then why do I still feel the burden. Why do I still ask my husband, “are you sure I can wear this”, although I know he will always say yes. Why this guilt, why this burden? Have you even seen or heard a guy saying “My parents sent me to this better college for education, oh I am so grateful!” or “My father allowed me this overnight stay, he is so wonderful!” or “My wife allowed me to wear this shorts, I could not have asked for better wife!”. No they don’t. I don’t blame them; they are behaving the way they should. It’s their RIGHT, same as its ours.

But then why are we burdened with this guilt? Because nobody, neither my father, nor my husband asked me to be indebted, then from where does this strong feeling come? A little thought and the answer presents itself before us! Women have been oppressed historically. They have been deprived of their basic rights. I would call the previous generation or all the generations before couple of generations as “oppressed generation”. They were just followers; they had no right, no say. We have grown up seeing such women, such situations. So whatever freedom we are getting is BONUS, right! We feel we don’t deserve this and it’s a gift that we are getting from our life. We feel indebted!

What’s the problem with being indebted you say. I say "feeling indebted while exercising your basic right", feels right? Because then we justify wrong things right; I have seen women justifying the wrong doing of the man when she should not have. Because then it reflects everywhere, in our confidence in job; we get easily happy with what we got; we don’t feel we deserve more than that. It reflects in the way you lead your life etc. It reflects subconsciously in so many things…

A little gratitude is always good; my problem is not with that. But attributing something and someone for our basic rights, THAT needs to change. And that change is difficult; I can feel the resistance inside me while I am even writing this blog. However hard I try I might still be forever indebted to the wonderful men in my life. But there is hope, slowly and surely the next generations of women will get out of this burden and live freely. Our daughters will look up to us and hopefully won’t feel unnecessarily indebted for anything for that matter .She will lead a free life and will choose her path, her life and lead it with a much more boosting confidence than we do. I will look forward to that day J. 

And lastly I would take this opportunity to convey respect to all the wonderful men who have the courage to change and accept change. They are indeed a catalyst in our growth, for making the shift from oppressed generation to indebted generation. Thanks guys!